School has taken up 75% of my time, 20% work, and only 3% for music, and only 2% for some type of rest. I've gotta keep it together though. I call it Grind Mode! Once you start Grind Mode your on the roll to getting things accomplished and getting a head start on the competition!
Just a lot of things have been stressing the kid out. I just have a lot on my plate right now and trying to handle the situation as need be. Some good and bad has come out of everything. I'm just learning a lot about myself. I just need to get back to the stuff I love to do. Working out, writing music, and chillEn with the people in my first circle.
Getting back to the things I love will not only make me feel good on the inside but on the outside as well. That is the road to peacE & tranquility in ones self. To feel harmonious with the inner you. Connecting body, mind, and soul into one.
Like a great man once said...
"Be formless... shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle; it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot; it becomes the teapot. Water can flow, and it can crash. Be like water, my friend" ...Bruce Lee
Today has been a LONG day. Studying, and studying, and studying.....its enough to drive a man insane. But I'm here in college for a reason. 3 years down and 1 more to go!
Heroe's is going off. Pretty good episode. I wasn't paying to much attention cuz I was reading about Ghostbusters lol don't laugh. I'm a bit of a NERD. But anyways.......
I thought I would share a poem I wrote over the break. A lot of stuff had been going on and I was really feeling stressed out but as a writer I can say that jotting my feelings down on paper and transferring it into a poem or song really helps me out. Therapeutic. My melodic rhetoric sooths my soul. Like spiritual Chicken Noodle Soup. Mmmm mmmm good lol
And it goes a little something like this....
Excuse the bad grammar plz!!!
LOST By: Stephen Robinson a.k.a. Steve Omari Monday; March 16, 2009
Knew this girl she was lost and so was her soul All she wanted was a nigga with a grill and with gold As the story goes she became a lost cause It’s a real sad tale….hold on. Let me pause …Now let us continue A Super Fucked up burger was her choice on the menu With a large diet screw it all. With extra tears What happens when we fall under the pressure of peers Who cares what others think? Well she did Cared about their opinions. Especially his The life of the streets seems coo when you’re a kid But after 18 Its time to get on yo shid Life is like Survivor. But she didn’t get it Cuz when she saw them Jordan’s. She was like get it! Her philosophy. It pays the cost to be the boss. But if that’s the case. In her case that means she’s LOST!
This is a sensitive subject for me. Its only about a good two maybe three people I talk to about this. I figure since writing has always been a passion of mine and I can get out emotions better this way that I would write about it. Also because today makes 8 years since my father Harvey Robinson passed away.
I was 13 years old and in the 7th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a dark and cloudy day. Unbeknown to future events that lie ahead I wore all black that day from head to toe. Didn't think that much of it. All of a sudden I get called out of my math class to report to the office. I was glad to get out of my least favorite subject. I saw my mom and I could tell something was bothering her. I didn't know what to think. Didn't know what to say. Little did I know that my life was about to turn upside down and it would never be the same again...EVER.
My mother told me words that I wasn't ready for. "We lost him...your father passed away." It didn't hit me right then and there. I remember going to pick up my little sister next. She was only 10. I didn't know how it would affect her. Didn't think it could happen to my family. You think your secure in your little bubble and at that age I only looked at the things in my world and never thought that anything in it could be taken away from me, but on that day I learned that wasn't true.
Since that day I've had to learn how to be a man on my own. I've had my uncles and other older figures give me advice here and there but majority of my accomplishments into the hard path to manhood I have learned and am still learning on my own. Everything happens for a reason. We don't always know what that reason is but I believe that there is a higher purpose for anything that happens. At least I like to believe that. Loosing someone that close to me has made me realize that life is to short. Anyone can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Anyone.
A friend of mine reminded me today that he's looking down at me right now and has watched me grow over the years. That comforts me. I also have a picture of him and me when I was a baby on my desk. I don't want to disappoint him. I'm doing my best. One day when I have a son I will try my hardest to live as long as I can to see all of his many accomplishments and make sure his journey into manhood isn't as tough as mine. He'll have a shoulder to lean on and someone to ask all the questions I had.
"Man I really miss my pops. Hope that God watches over him and that he's on top"...Lupe Fiasco
So I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. studying for a test I just finished taking. I feel a bit tired but I don't have to work today so I'm not stressing it. Last night before I began studying I was talking to some friends of mine. Dmill, Jessica, and I we're having different conversations pertaining to important topics in our lives. One such topic we touched on was about putting oneself out there towards the opposite sex and trying to Kick IT and by Kick IT I simply mean hanging out. No strings attached. No pressure.
I'm a straight forward person so when I approach a girl I put my true intentions out up front. No Games. Games are just for people that are insecure. I can understand not wanting to put your heart into someone else's trust but eventually if you plan to give your all to someone you'll just have to have that trust and believe that no matter what happens that the outcome will be for the best. If your both feeling one another then there is chemistry.
A situation occurred where I asked this girl I like to Kick IT in a public setting (no pressure). She seems interested but its always a situation where I go up one step and she takes two steps back. Anyways I told my friends about the situation and they said something to me that made complete sense. Also made me feel a lot better lol. If someone is putting themselves out there and letting the person they like know that their feeling them and the other person has put up walls to where they can't explain how they feel on the situation then that is on them. The party that put themselves out there has done all they can do. Any type of relationship can't be one sided. There can't be a relationship with just one person. Communication is important and a major key. Without it everyone is running around clueless assuming this and that about how the other feels. That person that has put up walls will just have to come to terms with letting those barriers down if they so choose. Otherwise the other party will leave and go to find someone else that will appreciate their feelings.
It's been a while. I must say that I'm rested and ready to tackle on the 2nd half of the semester. No lollygagging around. My Spring Break was interesting to say the least. I'm not going to get into it to much. Was able to spend some time with my mama and sister. That was good. Got a lot of alone time to just sleep and think about whats going on. Realizing some of the people I Thought I Knew were truly complete strangers. Thats how life goes sometimes. I'm going to just take that experience and apply it to the knowledge I've already gathered throughout my 21 years on God's green Earth.
Today was a beautiful day and the weather is perfect. Days like this make me want to just kick back and relax and enjoy the scenery. Take it all in. Chill on it.
Not much to say. More to come though. I just want to keep pushing myself forward and make the best decisions I possibly can. If I do take a step back or make a mistake then I will learn from it and continue on this Journey Called Life.
The past couple of days the weather has been mad crazy. It started out with sunshine, temperature in the mid 70's with cool breezes. Now that has drastically changed. Its raining and very cold. In the 40's. I'm not trippin though. The Rain aint gone but I can still See Clear. The only thing though is that I was suppose to work Tuesday and Thursday but they messed my schedule up. Most people wouldn't care but thats messing with my money. I'm supporting myself so thats money I'm loosing, but the Lord is on my side so I'll get through whatever financial ordeal I may encounter.
Spring Break is Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mine has officially started. Had a test in my Audio Production class and I made a B on it!!! And I finished my project early. All my homework is done and I've accomplished everything I set out to do. Thats what Grind Mode is ALL About!!!
I did have some plans but everything happens for a reason.
I just plan to have a good time. RPT. Relaxation, Peace, and Tranquility. The STRESS that has plagued me since school started will be put to rest. My mind will be at ease and I'll just be chillEn. Probably just Kick IT at the crib and get back to the stuff I love to do. Writing lyrics and poems, playing a few old school video games, drawing, sleep, working out, and just chill like an ice sickle.
This means I won't be on for a while so this will be my last blog for about a week but I'll be back and write about my experiences back home in the 409. I'm going homE!!! Lol The country. Fresh Air......calm........and boring to tell the truth, but its homE. I lovE it!
Today was an interesting day. 8:00 class was canceled so I didn't have to get up super early so I just slept in later. That felt good. Classes went by as usual and I came back to the room getting ready to go to work. My homeboi O came through and we just chit-chatted it up talking about music, school, and life. Went to work and found out I didn't even have to come so my manager brought me back and I went to Hobby-Lobby with my big sis Katie. Stopped by Wal-Mart and then I got on some h/w super early. I'm seriously in Grind Mode!
Today really wasn't that bad of a day. I got a lot of ish done and on top of all that I didn't have to work which allowed me to get a lot of work done! Feels good!!!
It seems like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders lately. Not stressed out about stuff but just putting a lot of time and effort into something that wasn't matching the work so I said forget it. Ima do me and you can do you. And by no means do I harbor any negative feelings towards this girl. Its life. Plenty more fish in the sea and my line has been pulled a few times.
Don't have a lot to say today. Just enjoying everything and taking it all in. Things aren't always what they seem. As always...
Just got back from work! It feels good to be back home. Today was another blessing in disguise. Maybe more so for someone else I know then I but we're all connected so when something good happens to one of us it happens to us all. I just want to thank God for his many blessings. We've all gotten to where we're at thanks to his mercy and guidance. Thank You.
Feel pretty good right now. This week will be a hectic yet satisfying week. Hectic because there is a lot of stuff I need to get done however satisfying at the same time because Spring Break is next week! Ima be on it like Dexter!
When I do get home though I'm going to pull out the Sega Genesis and hook it up and get on that Sonic The Hedgehog 2!!!
Thats just a part of me. I'm a fan of old school and that was the first game I ever played on my very first system! Awesome! Before I leave Ima school some of you kats on Style. Let my boi Lupe give you a heads up on what plateau you need to step up to.
My day was pretty good. Had to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few essentials and after waiting a long LONG time I was able to get back to my dorm room. Fortunately for me patience is a Good virtuE. Work really wasn't all to bad either.
Before I went to work though I was just chillEn watching "The Game" on BET (which by the way I don't watch BET like I use to. Just so many things I don't personally agree with but hey thats me. Much lovE to the businessmen and women doing their thing. Just not for me lol
Went to a party with some of my friends last night. Just chillEd for a bit. I can truly say that since I've turned 21 I can see a difference in a lot of things. And not just about alcohol b-cuz I don't drink it. Just about life in general. I'm starting to see things more clear. Not the whole picture but certain spots are becoming a lot more vivid and I can understand it a little more.
One of my favorite TV shows "My Wife & Kids is on DVD now. I saw the 1st season yesterday at Wal-Mart. I started to grab it and for a little while it was in my basket and I've been using my money well so I had enough to where I could've purchased this item and not have a second thought about it. But times are rough and you have to look ahead to the futurE. Everything might look clear today but you never know what the forecast will be for the future. A storm might be brewing up ahead so you have to save up for a rainy day. I was really proud of myself and that I made a good judgment call at that point and time. A Penny saved is a Penny earned.
One more thing. I head this song I haven't heard since I was a kid at work last night. "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. Good song!
I think that Ice Cube would agree that Today Was a Good Day. Had a good work out and working with my group on our project was good too. I love being a DJ and working on the equipment for it! G.T.P. and Dmill frat brother took a trip to Lufkin to get some "equipment." Top Secret Project we working on. I've already said to much. Wouldn't you like to know?!
Anyways lol I really REALLY think its funny when people contradict themselves. Like for instance. If someone was like, Hey Steve-O, don't eat that Burger King Whopper cuz its not good for you. Aww snaps, you thought about taking a bite so ima clown you for a little while. Then they actually go to Burger King and buy a Whopper themselves and got to Burger King a few times. Eating the hEll out of those burgErs. I don't get it...fill me in. Go figurE.
Just finished a h/w assignment that I should've done earlier but I turned it in before midnight so I'm not trippin. I'm doing my laundry right now. I just feel like chillEn on another Friday night. Probably just kick back and watch How High. Nothing to big on my agenda.
Ambreishia, O, & I went to see Will Smith's new movie Seven Pounds. That was a good movie in my opinion. I figured it would be. Its really coo because they don't just give you everything at once. They give you bits and pieces and you put it together yourself. Really creativE and I applaud them for that.
Lately I've been able to see certain people for who they really are. If you give a person some time they'll begin to show their true colors. Some people are who they say they are. Others are not so real. If your fake, then be fake. By all means, in a sense your keeping it real because your not trying to hide it. But hey. Its just me giving you some advice. People are going to to what their going to do regardless. Thats why I'm here. To give people a tastE of the rEal. Something they've been missing. Don't worry world. Steve Omari is here to fill you in on the last piece of the puzzlE. The Rubix cubE master.
Basically. The moral of the story is Live Life to the Fullest!!! People are going to hatE on you regardless so you might as well give them some good ish to talk about. If you got um you must be doing something right.
Today was a blessing in disguise! I must say. Just feel.......excited!!!!!!! Today was amazing!!!!
So its funny....sorry. Where are my manners? How's everything world?
Today was a good day. It started off slow but as the day progressed it got better and better. Got to cash my paycheck today thanks to my roommate. Appreciate it Josh!
Had to edit some photos on Photoshop in the lab and it took forever b-cuz everything was acting up like a bad toddler. after about 45 minutes I was finally able to get everything working.
Ate lunch today with a friend of mine. It was good cuz we hardly ever see each other and I got to learn a little more about her. She's coo. Some more of our friends where there and we just all sat and talked about Back in the Dayz and getting whoppings and what not lol
Went to the Walk it Out dance competition SAA had going on. It was pretty coo. Hands down the Time Travelers killEd that ish!!!! It was off the chain. They did the Kid-n-Play they even did Micheal Jackson!!!! Getting the glove and hitting that moon walk! Thats whats up. Big ups to those guys.
At the end of the day I must say that I had fun with my friends. Shout out to everybody that was there! And the ones that couldn't be there, but were there in spirit. I had a good time there. Didn't even plan on going at first lol
I must say if you just sit back and chill things will play out better then you could've ever expected. Its funny how things happen when you least expect it too. I just stopped trippin and just did me and fatE ended up in my favor. *Knock on Wodd* of course b-cuz I don't want to jinx myself, if you believe in that sort of thing. I'm just going to take everything a day at a time. You could say I'm taking it slow like a Snail.... That sounds like a coo title..and Facebook status lol
Everyday isn't a good one but I feel like I took 2 steps forward and the other person did too. Only timeE will tell.
Yesterday didn't start of to good but as the day went on I gained an appreciation for at least being here. And I had a revelation at the one place I would've never thought to have this type of realization. At Work!!!
Classes were long and unbearable!!! But I had to get up and go because we pay WAY TO MUCH $crilla to miss even a day. I was tired then a mug though. I persevered though and continued with my three classes for that day. Went to the UC and got my to go plate and when I was done I crashed hard!!!! I took a good nap, I'm talking slobber coming out of my mouth when I woke up lol But I didn't want to go to work....but I did.
So events happened at work that made me feel a lot better because not only was I trippin about school but this girl situation (wasn't to much trippin on it as much, just the thought of my next move lingering in the back of my mind). My boss, Ms. Sharon, was really coo. She just makes everybody do WAY more stuff then your suppose to. Everything is suppose to be spotless!!!
Got paycheck so I wasn't tripping. I figure might as well earn my keep and even if you complain its not going to make the situation any better. I was going to be there from 5-12:30 so I might as well make the most of it. Ms. Sharon was telling me and the other ppl working there about her and the man she's been dating for 4 yrs. and how she was blessed. She was telling us the ups and downs she's had in life and said she wasn't taking anything for granted. She almost lost him twice last week cuz he was very sick. She's gone through a lot of heartbreak. It was at that point I started to see how minuscule my problems were.
She's gone through the Wire, even through the Fire! Yet she still stands and continues on with life. Mann. Thats great encouragement. Gotta give her props. She's a good woman cuz now a days not that many women would stand by a mans side through the thick and thin. Most (not all) but majority just want that money. If I'm forunate to find a woman that'll stick by my side for the good and the bad, the ups and downs then Ima try my HARDEST to make that stuff work!
So towards the end of work when I was in the back cleaning the store I just let it all go. Said its time to Kick back and relax and give Stephen some me time. Excuse my French, but Fuck the bull ish! I'm not a selfish person and by no means do I think we should put ourselves before others in most cases, but in some instances (and this is one of those instances) I say you have to. I call it, Gaining Knowledge of One's Self.
All the lil ish I was sweating I'm not going to. I call this Grind Mode! and in this mode I'm accomplishing things! I'm going to be on these books hard and not sweat these little hatErs! If your being hatEd on thEn you must be doing something right. Right? lol And with ole' girl I'm not even trippin. I've learned a lot this past year on relationships from observing others as well as going through one of my own and I'm just going to let it go. Like Jay said, "Let it go and if it comes back its yours, if not, then it was never meant to be." Plain and simple.
ello, ello world!!! Steve Omari: The 4-Eyed Poet has returned from his slumber lol
I don't remember what I was having a dream about...probably owning a pair of new VANS my favoritE shoE!!! Their off the wall!
I just got done talking to a good friend of mine. Aaron Scott a.k.a. Nemesis. He too is a Hip-Hop artist and Poet. He gave me some good advice a while back. I've yet to perform any of my material on stage but he said, "No one will ever know if your good if you don't give them the chance to listen to your words." And he is right. I plan to go to my schools next Open Mic Night and recite one of my latest poems entitled Just BE=Yourself. Shout out to Nemesis one more time! He reminded me of something I said a while back in one of my songs called "The Dream". He said this is his favorite line, "If theres no Risk involved, then theres not much to Gain" and I thought about it and its true lol I felt bad cuz I said it and I need to take my own advice but I look forward to getting up on a stage and performing my routine.
One more thing. My Homeboi, Ya Boy O just dropped his solo Mixtape Hands Down so if you haven't downloaded it yet you need to!!!!! Its got a lot of guest appearances including The 4-Eyed Poet.
I'm going to list my day but not in sequential order.
Work was crazy. People need to get some act right when they come into an establishment of any type and demand service. I'm a nicE Guy but at the same time people can only do so much and I can only turn my cheeks twice. After that its strike 3! lol
But its all good! But after I got off at 12:45 a.m. my Aunt & cousin came and picked me up. I was thankful because most of the time I have to walk back and tonight was VERY COLD lol When I got back to my room though I realized that my phone was not in my pocket. My roommate took me back up to work but it wasn't there. I felt like a part of me was lost. People that know me and the cellular phone I own can honestly say I've got a basic ass phone and I'm always dogging it, but when we got back to my dorm and my cousin was there with my little basic phone I was happy! and said from that moment on, (and you can quote me on this) "I'll never dog this phone ever again!"
Tell me why a bunch of.....um......unattractive ladies came into the store tryna flirt with a brother lol I find that ish amusing. I'm not Denzel or anything, but I'm not JJ from Good Times either! Now everyone is beautiful on the inside because we're all of God's children and that means we're all equal. No If's Ands or Buts about that. Just.....if your not on a certain lvl and you just come off the wrong way, don't approach me lol If a brother is at work and I'm looking tired ladies, wait till you see me on campus. I know, I know. You cant wait that long, but anything worth obtaining in life takes patience.
And speaking of that I should stop lol. I'm confident and overcame a LARGE obstacle today dealing with rejection. I'm a patient person and don't try to rush things if it can be helped. There is a certain girl I'm trying to get to know on a more personal level. It just seems like every time I take one step closer she takes two steps back. I thought things were going good today. Better then they ever had. I asked her to lunch so there wouldn't be any pressure on her. Its in an open area with a lot of people, plus everyone has to eat. Its The Food (sorry, its a Common song. I had to point that out). Basically I've been hurt in the past and felt hesitant about even perusing anyone, however I had an eye opening realization over the Christmas Break. In life you don't get second chances so if an opportunity comes knocking you should open that door and see where that road takes you. Thats how I feel with this person. I'm not one to give up. I think there is a chemistry here that has yet to be experimented. So I'm going to keep redoing my hypothesis until the effort is matched and the conclusions are all good.
Anything worth obtaining is going to need some work put in. It'll all pay off in the end. Regardless of the outcome.
That was a lot to take in lol but today was just one of those types of days. But I'd rather be here to see it then 6 feet under.
I guess thats it for now. Oh yea. I'm jamming this song right here. Its a cult classic and I really really love this song. "The Light" by Common
Oh yea. Another good one is "Sunshine" by Lupe Fiasco off of his Food & Liquor Album.
"Never met her before, but I think I like her like a Metaphor, Its hard to get"
