8 Year Anniversery (R.I.P. Daddy)

This is a sensitive subject for me. Its only about a good two maybe three people I talk to about this. I figure since writing has always been a passion of mine and I can get out emotions better this way that I would write about it. Also because today makes 8 years since my father Harvey Robinson passed away.

I was 13 years old and in the 7th grade. I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a dark and cloudy day. Unbeknown to future events that lie ahead I wore all black that day from head to toe. Didn't think that much of it. All of a sudden I get called out of my math class to report to the office. I was glad to get out of my least favorite subject. I saw my mom and I could tell something was bothering her. I didn't know what to think. Didn't know what to say. Little did I know that my life was about to turn upside down and it would never be the same again...EVER.

My mother told me words that I wasn't ready for. "We lost him...your father passed away." It didn't hit me right then and there. I remember going to pick up my little sister next. She was only 10. I didn't know how it would affect her. Didn't think it could happen to my family. You think your secure in your little bubble and at that age I only looked at the things in my world and never thought that anything in it could be taken away from me, but on that day I learned that wasn't true.

Since that day I've had to learn how to be a man on my own. I've had my uncles and other older figures give me advice here and there but majority of my accomplishments into the hard path to manhood I have learned and am still learning on my own. Everything happens for a reason. We don't always know what that reason is but I believe that there is a higher purpose for anything that happens. At least I like to believe that. Loosing someone that close to me has made me realize that life is to short. Anyone can be taken away in the blink of an eye. Anyone.

A friend of mine reminded me today that he's looking down at me right now and has watched me grow over the years. That comforts me. I also have a picture of him and me when I was a baby on my desk. I don't want to disappoint him. I'm doing my best. One day when I have a son I will try my hardest to live as long as I can to see all of his many accomplishments and make sure his journey into manhood isn't as tough as mine. He'll have a shoulder to lean on and someone to ask all the questions I had.



"Man I really miss my pops. Hope that God watches over him and that he's on top"...Lupe Fiasco



peacE!

Coming to the realizatoin that...

So I stayed up until 2:00 a.m. studying for a test I just finished taking. I feel a bit tired but I don't have to work today so I'm not stressing it. Last night before I began studying I was talking to some friends of mine. Dmill, Jessica, and I we're having different conversations pertaining to important topics in our lives. One such topic we touched on was about putting oneself out there towards the opposite sex and trying to Kick IT and by Kick IT I simply mean hanging out. No strings attached. No pressure.




I'm a straight forward person so when I approach a girl I put my true intentions out up front. No Games. Games are just for people that are insecure. I can understand not wanting to put your heart into someone else's trust but eventually if you plan to give your all to someone you'll just have to have that trust and believe that no matter what happens that the outcome will be for the best. If your both feeling one another then there is chemistry.

A situation occurred where I asked this girl I like to Kick IT in a public setting (no pressure). She seems interested but its always a situation where I go up one step and she takes two steps back. Anyways I told my friends about the situation and they said something to me that made complete sense. Also made me feel a lot better lol. If someone is putting themselves out there and letting the person they like know that their feeling them and the other person has put up walls to where they can't explain how they feel on the situation then that is on them. The party that put themselves out there has done all they can do. Any type of relationship can't be one sided. There can't be a relationship with just one person. Communication is important and a major key. Without it everyone is running around clueless assuming this and that about how the other feels. That person that has put up walls will just have to come to terms with letting those barriers down if they so choose. Otherwise the other party will leave and go to find someone else that will appreciate their feelings.


Woosah.....




peacE!

Welcome Back

It's been a while. I must say that I'm rested and ready to tackle on the 2nd half of the semester. No lollygagging around. My Spring Break was interesting to say the least. I'm not going to get into it to much. Was able to spend some time with my mama and sister. That was good. Got a lot of alone time to just sleep and think about whats going on. Realizing some of the people I Thought I Knew were truly complete strangers. Thats how life goes sometimes. I'm going to just take that experience and apply it to the knowledge I've already gathered throughout my 21 years on God's green Earth.








Today was a beautiful day and the weather is perfect. Days like this make me want to just kick back and relax and enjoy the scenery. Take it all in. Chill on it.



Not much to say. More to come though. I just want to keep pushing myself forward and make the best decisions I possibly can. If I do take a step back or make a mistake then I will learn from it and continue on this Journey Called Life.







peacE!

The Rain aint gone but I can still See Clear

The past couple of days the weather has been mad crazy. It started out with sunshine, temperature in the mid 70's with cool breezes. Now that has drastically changed. Its raining and very cold. In the 40's. I'm not trippin though. The Rain aint gone but I can still See Clear. The only thing though is that I was suppose to work Tuesday and Thursday but they messed my schedule up. Most people wouldn't care but thats messing with my money. I'm supporting myself so thats money I'm loosing, but the Lord is on my side so I'll get through whatever financial ordeal I may encounter.




Spring Break is Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mine has officially started. Had a test in my Audio Production class and I made a B on it!!! And I finished my project early. All my homework is done and I've accomplished everything I set out to do. Thats what Grind Mode is ALL About!!!



I did have some plans but everything happens for a reason.

I just plan to have a good time. RPT. Relaxation, Peace, and Tranquility. The STRESS that has plagued me since school started will be put to rest. My mind will be at ease and I'll just be chillEn. Probably just Kick IT at the crib and get back to the stuff I love to do. Writing lyrics and poems, playing a few old school video games, drawing, sleep, working out, and just chill like an ice sickle.



This means I won't be on for a while so this will be my last blog for about a week but I'll be back and write about my experiences back home in the 409. I'm going homE!!! Lol The country. Fresh Air......calm........and boring to tell the truth, but its homE. I lovE it!





Well, Like always.




OnE LovE



peacE!

Things aren't always what they seem

Today was an interesting day. 8:00 class was canceled so I didn't have to get up super early so I just slept in later. That felt good. Classes went by as usual and I came back to the room getting ready to go to work. My homeboi O came through and we just chit-chatted it up talking about music, school, and life. Went to work and found out I didn't even have to come so my manager brought me back and I went to Hobby-Lobby with my big sis Katie. Stopped by Wal-Mart and then I got on some h/w super early. I'm seriously in Grind Mode!

Today really wasn't that bad of a day. I got a lot of ish done and on top of all that I didn't have to work which allowed me to get a lot of work done! Feels good!!!

It seems like a burden has been lifted off of my shoulders lately. Not stressed out about stuff but just putting a lot of time and effort into something that wasn't matching the work so I said forget it. Ima do me and you can do you. And by no means do I harbor any negative feelings towards this girl. Its life. Plenty more fish in the sea and my line has been pulled a few times.

Don't have a lot to say today. Just enjoying everything and taking it all in. Things aren't always what they seem. As always...

Take it EZ




peacE!!!

Thank You!

Just got back from work! It feels good to be back home. Today was another blessing in disguise. Maybe more so for someone else I know then I but we're all connected so when something good happens to one of us it happens to us all. I just want to thank God for his many blessings. We've all gotten to where we're at thanks to his mercy and guidance. Thank You.





Feel pretty good right now. This week will be a hectic yet satisfying week. Hectic because there is a lot of stuff I need to get done however satisfying at the same time because Spring Break is next week! Ima be on it like Dexter!







When I do get home though I'm going to pull out the Sega Genesis and hook it up and get on that Sonic The Hedgehog 2!!!





Thats just a part of me. I'm a fan of old school and that was the first game I ever played on my very first system! Awesome! Before I leave Ima school some of you kats on Style. Let my boi Lupe give you a heads up on what plateau you need to step up to.







peacE!

A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned

Lets back track!





My day was pretty good. Had to go to Wal-Mart to pick up a few essentials and after waiting a long LONG time I was able to get back to my dorm room. Fortunately for me patience is a Good virtuE. Work really wasn't all to bad either.



Before I went to work though I was just chillEn watching "The Game" on BET (which by the way I don't watch BET like I use to. Just so many things I don't personally agree with but hey thats me. Much lovE to the businessmen and women doing their thing. Just not for me lol

Went to a party with some of my friends last night. Just chillEd for a bit. I can truly say that since I've turned 21 I can see a difference in a lot of things. And not just about alcohol b-cuz I don't drink it. Just about life in general. I'm starting to see things more clear. Not the whole picture but certain spots are becoming a lot more vivid and I can understand it a little more.



One of my favorite TV shows "My Wife & Kids is on DVD now. I saw the 1st season yesterday at Wal-Mart. I started to grab it and for a little while it was in my basket and I've been using my money well so I had enough to where I could've purchased this item and not have a second thought about it. But times are rough and you have to look ahead to the futurE. Everything might look clear today but you never know what the forecast will be for the future. A storm might be brewing up ahead so you have to save up for a rainy day. I was really proud of myself and that I made a good judgment call at that point and time. A Penny saved is a Penny earned.



One more thing. I head this song I haven't heard since I was a kid at work last night. "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. Good song!





As always. One lovE!



peacE!